It is 12am and it is way passed my bedtime but I just had to come on here and write about an amazing thing that happened tonight.
Lately I have been feeling very much like the black sheep of my family even more so then I normally do. A little while ago my little sister spent a few days at my older sisters house and wrote on her blog about how much she had missed her etc and what fun she had. This really hurt me because she has never missed me like that and I always have to beg her to come visit let alone stay for a few days. That got me thinking about how much closer they are then I am with either of them and how they are so much alike and I am just the boring sister. I have always felt like everyone likes them better then me because they are funnier and more outgoing then I am, and no matter what anyone told me I always felt this way.
Tonight I was at a Pampered Chef party at my moms house and her friend was there that until later in the evening I hadn't realised was quite religious. She was very nice, outgoing and funny. Later in the night when the pampered chef girl left we got talking about how I was thinking about selling it and how I have always been very shy up until a few years ago, even when I was little I wouldn't even go up to pay for things I was so shy. Then my moms friend pipes up and says, " you know that is so sad that you are like that, don't think because your sisters are more outgoing and laugh and tell jokes that you don't have anything to offer anyone and that you don't touch people everyday, because you do". At that moment I almost started crying in front of this women I had just met hours ago. It meant so much to me that someone I had just met saw something special in me and evem though I barely talked the entire night saw that I was a beautiful person inside and out. As I am typing this I am balling because she had talked about certain things that had happened in her life that god had told her to do or guided her and I honestly felt that god told her to tell me this so I would know that I am not so different and people do notice me and appreciate me.
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7 comments:
psst. check your gmail.
What a wonderful thing for you to hear, obviously just when you needed to hear it too. And she's right, just because you don't basically get on the tables dancing and make yourself obvious to all and sundry does certainly NOT mean that you have nothing to offer other people or touch someone's life each day.
In a group of people I'm more reserved myself, in fact the loudest I am is probably on my blog lol But I know that each person that comes into the surgery on any given day...just a smile and greeting from me can touch them in some way...just as they warm me with a smile back.
Ok, that was a tad mushy too, but hey, it's true. The other day I was parked in the car waiting for Ryan to get out of school...Cam was already in the car with me...due to the peak hour traffic outside a school, the cars were moving slowly. One car crawled past and in the backseat was a gorgeous little girl, she must've been no older than 3...I looked over at her, and she smiled and waved timidly at me. I was so touched by that I went on about it for ages...Cameron was like "Oh for goodness sake Mum!" lol But she made my day and I have no doubt that you (despite not being 3 anymore lol) do a similar thing to others!
*hugs*
I know that I tell you I love you once and a while and we talk about everything and anything all the time. But somehow I feel really guilty that it was a stranger who made you feel good about yourself again and not me. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that I was somehow not fulfilling something you needed.
You are a beautiful person, inside and out and I treasure our friendship.
Lo
P.S.
I did check that blog and it asked me to download something too.
Let me know what you decide.
Lo
Thank you for all of your kind words, they have meant a lot.
Lisa, I am glad I am not alone, I felt kind of dumb that I was so touched by some stranger.
Lo, trust me there is nothing you could have said or done, honestly. Like I said in my blog people have told me otherwise and I never believed them. It was nice that someone who barely knew us, saw this, and it also felt that god knew I needed to hear that so it made it that much more special.
I have six words for you. SKOR APPLE DIP THINGY FUCKING ROCKS.
Lo
Yeah, I'm a horrible human being.
Would you fucking post already
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