Love

Darryl and I were having a conversation about divorce and relationships breaking up in general and how too often we hear stories about on half of the couple taking the other one for all they are worth. What ever happened to just breaking up, splitting your things and going your seperate ways. I said to Darryl, if we ever break up I will just take my things and move into my moms house with my tail between my legs and start over. Darryl said that he doesn't picture us breaking up that if our relationship does end it will be in divorce. *silence*

(thinking)
Wait a second, divorce? Most people when they think about marriage they think about forever with just one person, kissing the same person for the rest of your life. Until that moment I was not afraid of marriage I cannot wait to begin forever with him. But now that I think about the possibility of divorce, the slow decline of our relationship leading up to divorce scares the shit out of me. That makes me second guess getting married, what if everything that follows marriage strains our relationship and causes our eventual break up but if we just stayed together without marriage it would be okay. There are a lot of people out there that, that is their theory, that marriage kills relationships. My ex once said isn't it better to experience all of the happiness over the years and good timse even though you wont be together forever, and at the moment in mine and his relationship and he asked me that I said yes, and I ended up ending the relationship because no its not worth it. I mean, you can never spend FOREVER with someone, there will always be an ending but thinking about fighting with Darryl and being so miserable that we divorce scares me so bad. I wish it was like in the old days when vows meant something and people didn't get divorced. When forever actually meant something...